Все семьи абсолютно разные. Где-то царит полная любовь и гармония, когда подросший ребенок или дети центр вселенной и родители совершенно не претендуют быть для них смыслом жизни. Есть абсолютно безразличные друг к другу взаимоотношения. Существуют также семьи, где требования родителей к выросшим детям выражаются в материальных претензиях.
Растили они ребенка, кормили, поили, дали образование, а как только стал на ноги – плати. Плати за все! И за то, что кормили, поили, дали образование – это все наша заслуга! А теперь возвращай долги! И не важно, какие планы у тебя!.
Как быть в такой ситуации? Как поступить правильно и корректно по отношению к родителям, не обидев их, и по отношению к себе?
Сама по себе подобная постановка вопроса не допустима. На то они и родители, что единожды дав нам жизнь, заботиться о нас. Кормить и растить - это их обязанность перед нами. Наша обязанность заботится о них в старости! Но, когда предъявляются претензии о материальном возмещении затрат, то тут уже возникают определенные сложности. Как понять их? Почему они так поступают? Ведь нам уже хочется завести собственную семью, заботится о ней, на это нужны определенные денежные средства, а тут родители со своими требованиями.
Каждый решает этот вопрос по-своему. Здесь нет определенной панацеи. Важно знать, родитель, предъявляющий вам «иск», будет и впоследствии не единожды прибегать к подобным средствам добычи денег, нажимая на совесть и долг перед ним.
Уж лучше изначально, как только проговаривается эта тема, расставить все точки. Сразу же высказать свое мнение об этом, обговорить ситуацию, побудить родителей понять всю абсурдность, их заявлений и амбиций. Но вы же не чужие друг другу! Там где не правит любовь и уважение, другим негативным чувствам очень комфортно! Постарайтесь донести до своих таких «неправильных» родителей, что уж лучше потихоньку, на протяжении всей их последующей жизни вы будете помогать им, чем единовременно «вы платите» им все долги и больше им ничем не обязаны. Хотя, даже все «оплатив» такие «родители» с вас не слезут!
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